My One Desire
by Creational
Summary: Jasper never knew what he felt, but now he figured it out. As his feelings grow more and more intense, the more difficult they are to contain. Jasper X Bella
1. Preface

**I never knew I was capable of feeling this way. How did I live all this time I've known her and never realize? The second I recognized what I felt; I knew that she was the **_**one**_** for me. **


	2. A New Feeling

**Jasper POV:**

I sat by the window, shrugging. The sun rose and blended with the sky perfectly. It was strange, how blue and yellow and mix together with such harmony. They were completely different, yet by the way they complimented each other, the only thing you could do is appreciate the way they looked. I went downstairs, to the kitchen.

"Jasper!" Alice came and jumped into my arms.

"Yes?" I smiled. Alice always made me smile, but now it seemed different than before.

"I have a fabulous plan for us after I graduate!" she gushed.

"A party?" I asked.

"No… Well, there _will_ be a party, but I have a surprise for _us_." She said enthusiastically.

"Well, I'll make sure to be there." I assured her. "Do you know where Edward is?" I asked.

"Yes, he is coming soon with Bella."

Even though Bella is not a vampire, she knows too much not to be a part of this family. I saw them coming through the door. Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle were hunting for the weekend.

"I'm staying for the weekend, is that fine?" Bella asked Alice after we all exchanged our hellos.

"Of course it is!" Alice responded happily.

"No dressing me up, though." Bella responded.

"Don't worry, love. I'll make sure she won't touch you." Edward folded his arm around her shoulder. For some reason, I felt a strange tick in my body. I tried to stop it, but when he kissed her head, I felt another one. Edward had a bag in his arm, so that meant that Bella was staying over tonight.

"Ok, I'm going to be upstairs, and I'll be very busy, so don't disturb me!" Alice said happily. "I'll be back in a few hours."

After Alice left, Edward and Bella were together, sitting on the couch. I debated on whether to join them or not, but I decided to pretend to read. I could still see and hear them. _Since when do I care about Bella and Edward's relationship? Why do I feel an urge to be around them? _

"I love you." I heard Bella tell Edward. _Ouch_, I thought. The tick I felt earlier turned into a violent sting. My body, as solid as it is, almost shook. I could also tell my eyes were turning black; it was this way every time I was angry. But what was I angry at?

"Bella, I cannot wait to spend forever with you." Edward curled his fingers on Bella's hair. The sting was returning.

I knew what I felt about Alice earlier. She was my _friend_. But nothing more than that. I would save her, if I could, but I would not risk my life for her. A few months ago, I would have done anything for her. But something changed. The stinging inside my body was a reaction to Bella. It was a feeling I never knew I had.

I am in love with Isabella Swan.

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**Next chapter is Bella's POV.  
Please review, so I know if I should keep writing this. Thanks. :) **


	3. Falling Stars

_Through the storm we reach the shore  
You give it all but I want more  
And Im waiting for you_

With or without you  
With or without you  
I cant live  
With or without you  
- With or Without You, U2

**Bella POV:**

Everything was complete. I was going to graduate in a few months, get turned into a vampire, and be with the person who I love for eternity. It was going to be _perfect_, too perfect.

"Bella, do you know how much you mean to me?" Edward asked. His eyes were going through mine.

"Yes, I do." I smiled. I was a bit bothered, though. We are just so perfect for each other, it seems unhealthy. I do love him, more than anybody, but now things seemed too definite. Nothing ever broke us apart, and if we were not together, it seemed like my world would blacken.

Edward's lips touched mine; they were so soft. But instead of closing my eyes like I usually do to experience the moment, my eyes were open. I looked to the left, and saw Jasper. He held a book, but he was not reading it; he was staring at me. His eyes were completely dark. When he noticed that I looked, he quickly went back to reading the book.

"Is something wrong, love?" Edward probably caught the shaking on my lips.

"No, nothing." I looked in his eyes, and they darkened, too. "Edward… You should go hunting. I am not going to keep you here."

"No, Bella, it's alright. I'll stay with you." He played with my hair.

"Please, Edward." I was afraid when his eyes turned black. "Please go. I'll be with Jasper and Alice. It will be fine." I smiled.

"Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly.

"Positive."

"Okay then. But call me if something is wrong, alright, darling?"

"Of course I will."

"I'll be back in two days with everyone else. It seemed like they went far out this time, so I need to catch up with them." He pondered. I appreciated his face one last time before he left, and pecked him on the cheek.

"I love you." He pulled me into a hug. "Goodbye, Jasper." He waved as he left.

Holy crap. I was alone in the house with Jasper. I forgot that Alice was busy… How do I talk to him? We were never really too close. He put his book down and came towards my direction.

"Hello, Bella." He told me.

"Jasper." I smiled.

"Let's do something." He offered. Wow, Jasper wanted to do something with _me_. I felt honored.

"Sure, what?"

"Lets dance." He said. _Dance?! What?_

"Jasper, I don't _dance_!" I cringed at the thought of moving my two left feet. "And since when do you dance?" Jasper has always been a mystery to me. Learning about him was fascinating.

"I'll teach you. We have a lot of time to spend, I'm sure you will pick it up by the end." He let out a smile.

He held out his hand. "Ma'am?" My hand shook as I placed it in his. I looked at his face, and I got carried away. It didn't matter that I hated dancing; I would try it if he taught me. His honey blond hair was the exact same color of his now starry eyes.

His beautiful hand held my waist, and pulled me closer to him.

"Put you arm on my shoulder." He said. I did as he told me, feeling the coldness of his body. He was so much more taller than I was, and I his eyes were darting at mine. My heart started racing.

"Bella, your heart." He placed his arm on my chest, where my heartbeat was. His touch healed my heart, and it slowed, providing us a beat.

"Ok, now, just move your feet like mine." I watched him move so naturally, like water falling down a waterfall. It was so beautiful; I didn't want to ruin it with my clumsiness. But then I started moving my feet, too, and it seemed like they moved together perfectly. I don't know how long we have been moving, but it must have been at least an hour. It became a pattern that I never wanted to end. I looked out the window and saw the sun going down. After a few minutes, it was completely dark outside.

"Bella, let's go outside."

"Okay." I swallowed. I didn't want his arm to let go of my waist. I was going to let my hand let go of his, but he gripped it. I was shocked; he _liked_ holding my hand.

Once we were outside, we stood by the river that was very close to the Cullen's house.

"There are so many stars in the sky, ugh." They were all blinding me.

"Sometimes I think there are not enough." Jasper said.

"But there are billions of them."

"Yes – but because there are so many, no one ever notices if one falls down. Wouldn't life be so much easier that way?"

"Maybe." I admitted. Our hands were still linked together. "Jasper… You love Alice, don't you? And I love Edward."

His face came towards me, and I could feel my breath reflect on his skin.

"No, Jasper, we can't." I pulled back.

"I will never force anything on you, Bella. But I am here."

And that was the moment where I knew my plans with Edward would come to an end.

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**If I come up with an idea for the next chapter, I think it will be Jasper's POV. **


	4. Goodbye, Friend

**First of all, thank you for each and every review. However, I don't think there might be enough reviews/readers to keep me going. I might just write 1-2 chapters because the story is probably bad. **

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_Is love a tender thing? It is too rough,  
Too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn._

_- Romeo Montague, Romeo and Juliet_

**Jasper POV:**

After we had danced, she went to sleep. Edward always told me watching her sleep cannot be described, but now I could see why. I heard Alice walking around the house, and I quickly left the room.

"How did planning go?" I asked her about the graduation gift.

"Perfectly." She sighed happily, and then her head froze as she held her finger. "Vision." She whispered. She closed her eyes and her forehead creased. After a few seconds, she started laughing hysterically.

"May I ask?" I hesitated.

Alice tried to compose herself. "I had a vision of you and Bella kissing! Isn't that ridiculous? It's good my visions are not always right." She, then, continued laughing.

"Hilarious." I was torn between happiness and sadness. Happiness, because of the kiss, and sadness, because Alice did not have the slightest clue of what was going on. "Alice, you know that I will always love you."

"Of course, silly. I love you more." She said playfully, and I was afraid that she was right. She _did_ love me more. But what I was doing to Alice right now was unfair. I needed to tell her the truth.

"Alice… I need to talk to you."

"Sure, what about?" she asked innocently.

"These past few days have been strange. My mind and my body have, let's say, betrayed me. My feelings towards some people have changed in a fairly big way." I looked at her confused face and continued. "Alice, when I said that I will always love you, it means I will. I will love you for eternity. But I don't love you the way you love me. You are my friend, Alice. But I think I am in love with someone else." Her eyes widened with shock, and she froze.

"I think that I am in love with Bella." I let it out. She was still frozen like a statue. "Alice?" I asked. In a second, I saw her sprint out of the house somewhere far away. Alice has always been a great runner, I could never catch up with her, and I knew that there was no point.

**Alice POV:**

I ran as fast as I could. I did not know where I was, but it didn't matter. He betrayed me. I did not know what to feel towards him or Bella. Without Jasper, I didn't have a reason to be. And I decided that I was going to the Volturi.

I went to the airport in Seattle; I had my wallet with me by chance.

"One ticket to Italy, as soon as possible, please." I tried to ask nicely.

"You're in luck, there is a last minute ticket for a flight in an hour." The woman replied. "Would you like a ticket back, too?"

"No." I sighed. "That won't be needed." She handed me the ticket, I paid what I had, and I walked towards the airplane.

After many hours, I reached Italy. I sensed the Volturi were around. I ran to their castle.

"Alice, how are you?" one of the guards asked, and I didn't bother to look up to see who it was.

"Can I see Aro?" I pressed.

"Yes, you may. Go upstairs, he will be pleased to see you."

I didn't have time to reply, I just ran upstairs. I saw Aro sitting on his chair.

"Alice, what a lovely visit!"

"Thank you…" I started getting serious. "Aro…" I knew there was no proper way to say this. "Can you kill me?"

"Why would you want that?" he asked, a bit entertained.

"It doesn't matter. Just, please, kill me. This is all I want." I knew that I would cry if I had human eyes.

"I will do it." Caius, Aro's brother, came once he heard the word 'kil'.

"Control yourself." Aro commanded.

"Please, can you just get it over with?" I wanted this nightmare to end. I closed my eyes, and I heard Aro screaming at Caius to stop. Caius, stronger than Aro, put him aside and came towards me, like a hunter. I felt something crushing my body, tearing it. I did not go against it. My skin was already peeled off… I just felt bones… _Ouch_…

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**Alice did die, I just couldn't say from her point of view because she's, well, dead. **


	5. Bittersweet

**Thank you for the reviews. If the story gets at least 5 reviews, I will try my best to write it.  
****Thank you **_**b**__**reezy-mae **_**for the supportive comment (this is a big part of why I wrote this chapter). :)**

**Also, I'm sorry this chapter is so short. It took me a really long time to write it, but I think I stopped it where I should have.**

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_Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life well always go on  
_  
- My Heart Will Go On, Celine Dion

**Bella POV:**

I woke up with a smile on my face. As afraid as I was to admit it, I had a crush on Jasper. It was more than a crush, even. I left Edward's room and looked for the nearest bathroom. I brushed my teeth, got dressed, and went downstairs. I could have almost missed Jasper; he was sitting on the sofa like a statue.

"Jasper… Are you okay?" I asked.

"Alice." His eyes were focused on the wall. I knew something had happened. "She went to the Volturi… And…" his eyes looked emotional. "She was killed."

I didn't know how to respond. Emotions were racing through my head. It was my fault! How could I? Alice was my best friend, and now she is _gone_. I burst into tears, not afraid of controlling them. I sat on the sofa and put my arms across my knees. "N…No." I tried to deny it. "She… Can't be dead. She's a vampire."

"Bella, you know that it is possible. Especially with a fragile vampire like Alice." He put his hand on his forehead out of stress.

We sat there, and soon enough I also became still. We were there for hours, just sitting. I cried, and he would have too.

"Why did you do this? Why did you try to kiss me? Look what has happened."  
I said.

"It doesn't matter anymore…" Jasper sighed.

"Yes, it does!" I pressed, wiping the tears off my eyes.

"I am in love with you. Don't respond yet…" He composed himself. "I don't know why I am. It had just happened to me. I can live without Alice. But with you, Bella, I can't. Please, don't accuse me of anything. I cannot control my heart."

I was going to scream at him, but then I knew that he was right. Jasper cannot control his heart. I couldn't control my heart when I fell for Edward, and neither can he. I had to accept it, because when I fell in love with Edward, I knew that I would sacrifice anything or anyone just to be with him. It was selfish, but it was love. Alice is gone, and there is nothing I can do. She would have not wanted me to cry; Alice is not a selfish person. She couldn't _live_ without Jasper being by her side, and when he wasn't, she knew she did not have a reason to be here. I understood her because I would have done the same thing.

"Jasper." I came and sat next to him. I took the courage and put my arm on his knee. Without any thoughts, I left it there, and soon enough his hand was on mine. I looked into his honey eyes, and I melted. Jasper moved his hand from mine and put it on my shoulder instead. He breathed on my neck, his lips almost touching it. I could not resist. "Jasper…" I said again.

I moved my lips towards his, and placed them on his gently. Indescribable electricity started choking me. I could not stop kissing him, though. It was the greatest feeling I've ever experienced. He kissed me back with even more power, and I couldn't stop. His lips moved down to my ear, and then to my neck. His fingers took off one of the straps of my spaghetti-strap shirt. His breath was on my bare shoulder, and then his mouth.

"N—No…" I said against my will. He immediately pulled back without thinking.

He chuckled. "I wondered how long it would take you to tell me to stop."

"It's amazing." I started. "How you do not force anything on me." I was always used to Edward not listening to my opinion.

"I am not pushy, I guess."

"No, you are not. You are just so…" I wanted to say something, but I held it inside my throat. He seemed to understand.

"I will wait for you. I have eternity." He smiled.

"I am so confused. I don't know what I want anymore." A few hours ago, my future was set. Now, it is anything but planned. How would I tell this to Edward? I felt a cold hand resting on my cheek.

"I will help you, Bella. Don't worry."

"So much has happened. Does Edward know about Alice?" I asked.

"No, they did not carry a phone with them. Only I know." That made things even worst.

And then I heard the door open, and everyone came in cheerfully. Edward ran to my side and whispered with joy

"I missed you."

I wish I could have felt the same.


	6. Golden Eyes

**Thank you for the reviews! **

**If I get 7-10 (from 7-10 different people) reviews before tomorrow, I will put a new chapter up tomorrow :)  
If not, I would appreciate a review from everyone who can so I get motivated to continue the story. Thanks. =D (If I don't have motivation I usually get writer's block haha.)**

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_Golden eyes I see  
Stare into the stars above  
Twisted fate shines  
Her bronze cheeks flush  
Absorbing every step  
She reads her future graved in the light  
Walking on a bleak path  
Letting destiny lead her to doom  
Oh, why must they shut?  
The beaming gold has turn to blank  
And blooming lips must fade  
Immortal she is not  
Lying in her bones  
Golden eyes, golden eyes  
With all fairness, farewell._

_- _Creational (me)

**Edward POV:**

I held Bella with protectiveness. I sensed strangeness in her, and I knew that there was something wrong. Jasper was using his powers to calm everyone down, as he was also protecting his thoughts by constantly repeating a lullaby tune in his head.

"I missed you." I said.

"Me too." She said, although I knew she didn't mean it. Why? She looked timid, uneasy. I wanted to comfort her, but I had a feeling that it would not help. The second her eyes met mine, they liquefied. There was a look of pain and regret mixed together in her warm, chocolate eyes. I took my finger and placed it on her soft but intricate lips. I breathed her sweet scent, and her rich, long, hair.

"Bella, love. What is wrong?" I asked carefully. I did not want to upset her even more. I played with her hair, and froze her tears with my fingers. Bella crossed her arms and looked at Jasper's direction.

"Jasper, I think it's best that you tell them." She sat on the floor and curled, moving back and forth.

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Rosalie carefully stepped forward to listen.

"An unfortunate event occurred not too long ago." Jasper did not have the power to look at us. "Alice went to the Volturi, and due to her request, they killed her."

"What did you say?" Esme started breaking in hysterics. _How? My daughter is gone. She will never be mine again. She will never be here. She lies somewhere else now. _

I could not speak yet.

"My sister!" Rosalie screamed furiously, while her eyes turned glassy. _I wish I could cry for you, Alice. I love you. Alice. Please, listen to me! I am desperate. Alice! Come back! _She tried to convince herself that she was still there, listening from somewhere.

"Is… Is this _true?_" I heard Emmett say with disbelief_. She was my damn sister! What happened?!_

"This is the worst nightmare I could ever experience." Carlisle's eyes froze, and he collapsed on the ground. His thoughts were blank; he could not arrange himself.

All the thoughts and reactions confused my mind. I tried to compose myself, and I spoke.

"Why did she go?" I was shaking. This was the one situation where I could not compose myself. I have never felt so overwhelmed. Jasper's lullaby grew stronger and fiercer in his mind. He told himself in the back of his thoughts not to think about anything else. Bella looked away with guilt.

"Bella?" I asked. She did not reply. I reached my hand for hers. "Please? Can we talk?" She took my hand and hunched her shoulders, following me outside.

"Bella, why did this happen? Why is Jasper blocking his thoughts? Why do you look guilty of a crime? And why…" I choked it out. "Why was Alice murdered?"

She started tearing up, staining her white t-shirt.

"Darling, please explain this to me." I said with desperation in my voice.

"Edward." Her sweet voice was pained and distant as she spoke. "I've never meant to hurt you." She continued crying. "I don't know what has happened to me, Edward. You say you are a monster… But me…" she sniffed.

"What, what is it, Bella?"

"I… I've kissed Jasper. And I grew to like him as more than a friend." She turned her head completely away from me and shook uncontrollably.

I felt a tearing inside my body. There was a sharp object ripping me into shreds, making it impossible for me to live.

"Bella" I also shook. "I will be here for you. There is no other reason for me to live, and if you are happy, I will be too." Saying I would be happy was not what I meant, but if it helped Bella, I would say it. I wanted to tear Jasper's head off and crush it into the ground but I knew better. I would not be a monster in front of Bella.

"And Alice saw a vision of me and Jasper together." Bella continued, crying. "And she went to the Volturi, because she knew she had nothing if she didn't have Jasper." She burst into more crying.

"Shhh, my Bella." I hugged her tightly. "It's alright, love."

"No, it's not." She said weakly, her voice fading. Her eyes closed and I carried her in my arms. From the outside window, I saw Jasper looking at us. His eyes were flaming more than ever.

**Jasper POV:**

The next few days have been very difficult to handle; losing a loved one and falling in love. Today was Alice's funeral. Even though we did not have her body, we still honored her. It was just amongst the six of us and Bella. Bella insisted that she wanted to come. Everyone already knew what happened between Bella and I. Esme tried to look compassionate, although I could read all the emotions of blame underneath her façade. Edward did not say a word to me, and neither did Emmett. Carlisle told me what I did was wrong, but he said he could not completely blame me. The person who was the most understanding, surprisingly, was Rosalie. She would be there to comfort me, and she told me what I did was not my fault. Edward still met Bella, but I knew things had changed. They were figuring their relationship out. More hatred towards Edward grew within me whenever he touched Bella's delicate cheeks, or her smooth hair. We all wore black to honor Alice, and we stepped to the front yard, where our funeral would be held.

All of us stood still as we saw a stone grave with words bold against it:

ALICE CULLEN  
1990-2008

We did not specify with details, or her birth-date from her vampire life. If anyone walked by, they would be suspicious.

I saw pained faces next to me. Then, I saw a red truck pull up in the garage. I could not prevent myself from staring at the angel in front of me. Bella was dressed in a black dress, revealing her pale arms. Every step she took towards us was another heartbeat that was growing louder. Her heart was the most beautiful voice I have ever heard in my eternal life. I could feel her mood; she was anxious. I immediately calmed her down, and she nodded her head at everyone and went to stand next to Edward. I could see her eyes slightly moving to look at me, and when I looked back, she quickly moved her eyes back.

"Today." Carlisle stood in front of the grave. "We are here to honor Alice." I saw the golden vampires eyes, each pair of eyes wanting to burst into tears, even mine, except Edward's. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett, and I said our speech about Alice. Bella also said a few words, but it was hard to hear her; she was tearing up. Now it was Edward's turn. He never shared what he felt about Alice's death, so we did not expect much.

"I wrote a poem for my sister." Edward swallowed. "For the girl which I felt was related to me by blood." He sighed and began.

"Memories, arguments, good times and bad

You were there to support us

When times were unpleasant, it was your cheerful smile

That got me through what seems like a very long time

I've loved you, sister

It hurts to know that everyday will be spent without your presence

Because you were my best friend

And I will never forget you for that

These last few days I have been convincing myself it is just a nightmare

But we all know that it is impossible

I hope there is another life for you out there." He had to stop in the middle, and he put his hand on top of his eyes. He wanted to cry; I felt it. I felt like a horrid beast because I did not feel bad for him. I have grown to keep my distance form Edward; he held my life in his hand. Bella cried after he finished his poem, and she hugged him.

After the funeral was over, I saw Bella standing there, holding Edward's hand. She looked uneasy, and looked around until she met my eyes. Although they were still wet, I could see the richness and depth in them. Everyone went inside the house, but Bella told Edward that she wanted to stay behind. Edward shot a look at me as he went inside with everyone.

I ran to reach Bella, held her hair, and lifted her from the ground as I kissed her with as much force as I could.

"I love you, hun." I put her hair behind her ears and she bit her lower lip, but then said

"I love you too, Jasper. I really do." I knew we had to get away outta here right now.

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**Please review if you can. I really appreciate each and every review!**


	7. Without You

**Wow, I was super impressed with the amount of reviews the story had received! Definitely went above my expectations! Thank you so much for each and every review, and please, please, keep on reviewing! I am super motivated to continue the story now ^^**

**Here is a new chapter, as promised. :)**

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_You are my heaven on earth  
You are my hunger, my thirst  
I always hear this voice inside  
Singing Ave Maria  
- Ave Maria, Beyonce_

**Bella POV:**

The funeral ended. I have never felt so much sadness in my entire life. I was holding Edward's hand, but my eyes were looking for the boy with honey-blond hair and fluid gold eyes. Everyone went inside the house, and I told Edward I would stay behind for a bit. As soon as everyone was inside, I saw Jasper run towards my direction and I was lifted up as I felt his cool lips and tongue inside my mouth. He held my hair as he kissed me, and I have never felt this much force and passion from a kiss.

"I love you, hun." He told me. It came unexpectedly, even though he already told me. I contemplated, while biting my lower lip; I was afraid Edward would hear. But he knew everything, and I could not prevent the words from coming out of my mouth.

"I love you too, Jasper. I really do." I have never been this hopeful. This relationship was moving so fast; I could barely blink to check if this is just a dream. It was a matter of weeks until I was absolutely sure I was in love with Edward, but it only took a few days with Jasper. Jasper smiled when he heard that I love him, too.

He took my hand and kissed it. "Let's go, Bella. Let's get out of here, just for a while."

"W-What?" I blinked, confused. I was not one to make immediate decisions.

"Let's go somewhere. Anywhere you'd like. I just want to be with you alone."

"Jasper, that's not how it works! My best friend and your wife just died. I broke Edward's heart. I can't." I said hysterically.

"It's okay, darling. But please consider it." He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Its been you all along." He whispered to himself, but I heard it. I smiled to myself and pecked him on the lips, standing on the tip of my toes.

"I'll be back. Wait for me?" I asked with hope.

"Yes, ma'am." He chuckled.

I found Edward on top of his bed; he looked as if he was deep in his thoughts. I lightly tapped on his door, even though it was halfway open and asked

"Edward? Can I come in?" I hesitated over my words. He was so statuesque; his dark eyes and hair topped his white skin so beautifully.

"Yes. Come here." He was still sitting on his bed, and pulled me on his lap.

"Is everything fine?" I asked after I kissed him on his cheek.

"It is, Bella. It has been difficult losing Alice, but on the bright side, I know you are here." He kissed the tears on my face with his cold, soft, lips.

"I love you, Edward." I blurted it out. _Crap_. _Of course I love him! But why is this so confusing_?

"Darling." He carefully kissed my lips, moving slowly. This was not what I felt with Jasper. Jasper made me feel like there was always a new, exciting, adventure waiting for us. I also feel love for Edward, of course, but there is nothing brilliant about the way it constantly plateaus. _Maybe it's better for me. Maybe knowing I'll feel this way about Edward for the rest of my life will help me; I might lose what I feel towards Jasper. _

"Edward. I think I should take a break from all of this. I am so confused. I am so, so sorry. I love you. But I need to get my head together. Is that alright?"

"Of course it is, dear." He patted my hair.

I let out a sigh of relief. Now it was the hardest part: Jasper.

When I went back to the front yard, Jasper still stood in the exact same spot where I had seen him before.

"I have never felt this way about anyone. You are amazing, Jasper. But I'm going to take a while off to get my thoughts straight. Maybe another day we can run away together, but not today. Please understand."

"I understand, Bella. But I think that if you are taking a break, I might as well also take one. I am leaving. I don't know when I'll come back. I will come back eventually, and you know how to reach me." He kissed my on the lips. _Why did he have to do that! Now I'll never want him to leave my sight._ "See you later, my Bella." He left in a flash. All I could do now is to return to a normal life. A _human_ life. I didn't know how the next few weeks would be now that Jasper left. It was as if I thirsted for him as much as he thirsted for blood. But this was my fault, and my decision. I had a lot to think about.

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	8. Letting Go

_Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life  
Can't get no love without sacrifice  
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well  
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell  
-Happy Ending, Mika_

**Bella POV:**

The weeks following the day of the funeral have been painful, empty, and dull. Painful because I have lost my best friend, and every day I would look at the where she would sit during lunch, and my eyes would immediately liquefy. Empty because there was a hole inside my heart; Jasper left – and I did not have the guts to call him and ask where he was. It was also empty because I did not have Edward. He was such a gentleman about the whole situation, of course, and he has been giving me space. He did not drive me to school anymore, come to my room, and he only did it for me. I was sure it was difficult for him to stay away, and I appreciated how thoughtful he was; but it was still painful. And it was dull because my life was so _normal_ and boring. I tried to blend in and occasionally talk to Jessica, Mike, or Angela. Edward would still sit with me during lunch, and we would talk from time to time.

"Guess what," Jessica started the conversation, as usual, with a chirpy tone to her voice. "I am going to Florida during the summer! Isn't that so awesome?" She then looked at Mike to see if he would be excited for her. No one answered, so I decided to speak for a change.

"That's great, Jessica." I forced a smile. "I hope you have fun."

"Thanks," she replied. She was obviously disappointed that Mike did not show enthusiasm.

"Jessica." I heard a brilliant voice from the right; it was so melodic and beautiful. "Enjoy." It surprised me that Edward spoke; he would usually only speak with me.

"T-Thank you." Jessica stared at him, amazed. She was probably just as surprised as I was.

After lunch, Jessica came by my side and whispered. "Are you and Cullen and item? Or did you break up?" She must have seen what has been going on.

"Um… We are sort of taking a break." I shrugged.

"Oh, I'm sorry. But… Would you mind if I, well, asked Edward out?"

I could not believe that she would think of such a thing. But I wasn't sure if Edward would agree… _He loves me, right? _But then again, it would be absolutely fair if he _did_ choose to get over me and move on. It would actually help me.

"Go ahead." I sighed.

"Thanks, Bella. You're the best!" She hugged me. "See you after class!"

"Bye." I rolled my eyes and stepped into history.

The day ended, and I found Edward in the hallway.

"I need to ask you something."

"Go ahead." He said.

"In private." I added, desperation in my voice.

"Alright, Bella." He chuckled and we sat inside his car. I immediately felt at home with that familiar smell of his silver Volvo.

"Did Jessica ask you out?" I couldn't believe I was _this_ shallow. I never cared about gossip.

"What if she did?" Edward smiled.

"Well… You wouldn't consider it, would you?"

"Why not? We are not exactly together, Bella."

"But you can't!" emotions ran through me, vividly splashing in my mind, but not in a good way.

"Why not?" He challenged by repeating what he said. "Don't you love Jasper?" he asked again.

"But _Jessica_?! Edward, you used to tell me she was superficial."

He quietly growled. "How dare you keep me away from someone when you fell in love with my _brother_? Bella, do you really believe that it is easy to read his filthy thoughts and have to live with him?"

"You are right." I frowned. "I'm sorry, Edward." I gripped on his arm. "I didn't mean for things to be like this."

"I am sorry, my Bella. What I said was a little exaggerated. But you also have to allow me to make my own choices." He smiled.

"Yeah, I know. I love you." I kissed his cheek.

"Me too, love." His velvet voice flowed in my ears like soft, beautiful music.

He was hurt. He was trying to hide it by saying he 'exaggerated', but I have heard enough. There was nothing I could do but feel _horrible_. I felt horrible, but I also knew that he might date Jessica. I am rarely jealous, but now the lonliness was taking over me. The emptiness grew to a point where it was too deep to extend.

I took my cellphone out, and nervously looked for a number I haven't called in weeks.

"Hello? Where are you? I really need to talk to you."

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**Please review! They keep the story going. ^^**


	9. You're My Only One

**This is the last chapter of the story. I had never meant for it to end this way, but for some reason I think it was appropriate in my eyes. Sorry, people, but this chapter is a little sad and it might not be what you expected. It was difficult for me to write it, too. :(**** If you did not like the ending, please tell me. I might write an alternate ending.**

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What is a youth? Impetuous fire.  
What is a maid? Ice and desire.  
The world wags on.

A rose will bloom  
It then will fade  
So does a youth.  
So does the fairest maid.

Comes a time when one sweet smile  
Has its season for a while...Then love's in love with me.  
Some they think only to marry, Others will tease and tarry,  
Mine is the very best parry. Cupid he rules us all.  
Caper the cape, but sing me the song,  
Death will come soon to hush us along.  
Sweeter than honey and bitter as gall.  
Love is a task and it never will pall.  
Sweeter than honey...and bitter as gall  
Cupid he rules us all

- _What Is A Youth?, Romeo and Juliet Movie_

**Jasper POV:**

I sat down. That was all I could do. I thought leaving her would make me forget but it didn't. She has been on my mind every second of my life ever since I have left. Her scent wrapped my body and I did not want it to go away. I looked at my phone.

_Zero calls received today_.

I knew it was rather pathetic of me to check my calls log, but there was an urge within me to do so. The wind was blowing on my flesh with an intense force. I closed my eyes, knowing I couldn't sleep. I was leaning against the tree, and I imagined her next to me. I knew that with her all my problems would be gone. She was more than I could ever wish for. My love. The emptiness that I always had that I could never figure out how to fill. I could feel my eyes aching with pain; there was great tension. My eyes wanted to burst, yet there were no tears. I took my shirt off so I could feel the coldness mix with my bare, freezing chest. My skin and the wind mixed together so well, I felt nothing on my body. It was numb. I suddenly heard a familiar ring tone. My hands reached for the phone as quick as I could. It was her.

"Hello? Where are you? I really need to talk to you." A beautiful, known voice melted my body with its softness. It was as if I were a human again; the blood flowing under my skin and spreading it with warmth.

"B-Bella?" I did not believe that I had just stuttered. I have never done that while being a vampire. I could not control it. I felt _nervous_; a feeling I have never experienced during this new life.

"I miss you." I could feel her eyes tearing.

"I'll be right there. Alright?" I would do anything for this girl.

"Yes." She said, with a beam of hope in her voice.

I ran. I did not even think twice. After a few minutes, I felt weaker, but I did not stop. I would be there for her.

Many hours later, I arrived. I climbed into her window with the strength I had left. It was unrealistic. She sat on her bed, her arms folded. I felt a heartbeat. I put my hand over my chest, and it was as if I also had a heart. It was for her.

"Jasper!" she got off her bed and ran to the window.

**Bella POV:**

I could not believe my eyes. He was standing there. I ran and yelled "Jasper!"

He put his strong hands on my face. I was feeling much more at ease with myself.

"Is it okay?" He asked and I knew exactly what he meant. I didn't hesitate this time; I went for it myself. I locked my lips with his and I realized how much I missed that feeling. His lips tasted so sweet, and mine fit with his perfectly. One of his hands was on my back, and the other on shoulder.

"Are you alright, hun?" He asked.

"No, not really… Where were you?" I suddenly remembered.

"I was in Canada. It was a nice break from here." He smiled. " But unfortunately, there was one memory that was always in my head."

"What memory?"

"You." There was genuineness in his voice. I could not go against it. It felt like there was something slicing through the infinite thick layers that were protecting his feelings against his will. He surrendered; he couldn't hide what he was trying to. "Bella…" He sighed as if he knew what he was about to say would not be something I'd like. "Did you have time to think it over? Do you want to go away with me? I know you have problems now, but you can tell them to me later. I will listen, Bella. I promise. I… Want to be with you forever. Bella. Marry me."

Shock pulsed through my body. My eyes were dry and open wide. I was sure my mouth was open, too. _What did he just say?_

"What did you just say?" I put my thoughts into words. I didn't sound angry; more like surprised.

"Marry me. I mean, will you marry me, Isabella?" he asked and the second I heard the hope in his voice I could find my eyes tear up yet again. How could I do this? I betrayed Edward, and I only called Jasper here out of selfishness. I took a break from them, and they only seemed to come back.

"I won't do this to you anymore. I won't wreck your life. I love you. I love you more than Edward. But I can't say no to your question and I cannot do this to Edward. I have to leave. I have to get out. I will not be selfish again; especially not to you." I paused. "And Jasper… Don't go. You only have one life and you are fortunate enough to have eternity. Use it to your advantage."

It didn't take a while until I had left. Charlie took it very well. I moved in back with my mother, who was currently living in Florida with Phil. I graduated school in Florida. I went to college, and became involved with business. I worked for the most of my life. I could never find anyone to replace the hole that has been carved in my heart. I never would try to find someone, either. I regretted what has happened with every part of my heart, but I could not go back.

**Jasper POV:**

The last seventy years have been a pain, but I kept repeating her words in my head. _Don't go…You only have one life…I love you… I love you more than Edward…_ Those were the most painful but the most encouraging words I have inside me. The last words I have ever heard from the most beautiful and amazing girl.

The first ten years I did not know what to do. I lived in Canada, in the mountains. I never left. Carlisle came twice to ask me to come back, but I refused. After those ten years, I decided to go back to their home. Edward was depressed, but everyone welcomed me back. These last years were dull and regretful. Edward went to the Volturi seventeen years ago, and his wish was granted. He said he could not live without her. I would be gone long ago if it wasn't for the words she said, or that I knew that there was a chance that she was still in this world.

I ran around Forks. I decided to walk by the old school. After, I walked by her home. I paused and looked at it. It was forgotten and dusted. By the house there was a woman with short gray hair. Her shoulders were hunched and she was very pale, with wrinkled skin. She turned around and I looked into her eyes, knowing who she was. All the times I had wished to die have vanished when I saw that she is alive.

"I..Is that you, Jasper?" Her voice had changed, but it still resembled her.

"Bella." I said.

"We will meet again, Jasper. I dream about you every night. I refuse to forget you." Her voice became shaky. She looked very fragile. "One day we will be together, Jasper. We will be in a different place, but we will be together." She said with a smile.

I wished I had eyes to cry with. She still loves me and remembers me.

"I love you." I said. She smiled, and walked away.

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**Please, please review!**


	10. A Different Ending

**Ok, so, this is a different ending. I think it might be better for the ones who did not like the original ending as much :). **

And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

_- Run, Snow Patrol_

**Bella POV:**

I could not believe my eyes. He was standing there. I ran and yelled "Jasper!"

He put his strong hands on my face. I was feeling much more at ease with myself.

"Is it okay?" He asked and I knew exactly what he meant. I didn't hesitate this time; I went for it myself. I locked my lips with his and I realized how much I missed that feeling. His lips tasted so sweet, and mine fit with his perfectly. One of his hands was on my back, and the other on shoulder.

"Are you alright, hun?" He asked.

"No, not really… Where were you?" I suddenly remembered.

"I was in Canada. It was a nice break from here." He smiled. " But unfortunately, there was one memory that was always in my head."

"What memory?"

"You." There was genuineness in his voice. I could not go against it. It felt like there was something slicing through the infinite thick layers that were protecting his feelings against his will. He surrendered; he couldn't hide what he was trying to. "Bella…" He sighed as if he knew what he was about to say would not be something I'd like. "Did you have time to think it over? Do you want to go away with me? I know you have problems now, but you can tell them to me later. I will listen, Bella. I promise. I… Want to be with you forever. Bella. Marry me."

Shock pulsed through my body. My eyes were dry and open wide. I was sure my mouth was open, too. _What did he just say?_

"What did you just say?" I put my thoughts into words. I didn't sound angry; more like surprised.

"Marry me. I mean, will you marry me, Isabella?" he asked and the second I heard the hope in his voice I could find my eyes tear up yet again. How could I do this? I betrayed Edward, and I only called Jasper here out of selfishness. I took a break from them, and they only seemed to come back. But could I honestly say goodbye to Jasper? Could I go on every day and live without him? No, I couldn't. He is my air.

"Yes!" I grabbed his face and gently dug my fingers into his beautiful cheeks as I kissed him.

"I love you so much, Bella!" He said with enthusiasm.

"Let's get married _now_." The words burst out of my mouth.

"Are you sure?" he was breathless.

"I am positive." Tears of joy peacefully rolled down.

**Two hours later.**

My head was still spinning in endless circles. I could not believe that Jasper Whitlock will mine. I could not hide the happiness I was feeling right now, so I thought it was better for me to stay in my room until I calm down. I closed my eyes and daydreamed of him with me. Then, I felt a familiar icy hand on mine. It was Edward.

"Bella." He smiled.

"Hello, Edward." It felt strange to me to greet him this way. I felt a little awkward around him, now. "How did your date with Jessica go?" I asked casually, but he probably knew I was trying to pretend that I don't care.

"I did not go." He sighed. "My Bella, I am sorry for putting you through this trouble of thinking I was with Jessica. You are too dear to me. I love you more than you can imagine, Bella. I was starting to run towards Alaska; I was too depressed about not being with you, but I came back now."

I stayed still. He did not know that Jasper was here.

"Bella Swan." He got down on one knee and held my hand, while I was sitting on my bed, looking at him. "Will you marry me?" Could I lie to him? I felt all the guilt coming back.

"Edward…" I said carefully, while placing my hand on his shoulder. "Jasper came back two hours ago. He kind of proposed to me, and I said yes." I frowned.

Edward froze on the ground. He did not speak for what seemed forever. His eyes were open wide and they were staring into the wall.

"Edward." I said again, shaking.

"I can't live knowing you will be with that _thing_." A surprising sly voice came out of his mouth at last.

"He is not a monster, Edward!" I immediately defended him.

"I love you. Goodbye, Bella." He ran out of the window. That was the last time I saw Edward Cullen.

Jasper quickly came back later, through my window.

"Will Edward be fine?" I asked with worry.

"Yes, I suppose fine would be a way to describe it." I could see that Jasper was analyzing each word he said.

"Jasper…"

"Bella, what do you think?" He sincerely asked me.

"I think I'm a murderer. I cannot look at myself in the mirror anymore." I frowned.

"It's not your fault." He said and wrapped his arms around me. "Bella, it will be fine." He kissed me on my head.

"At least I have you." I looked into the only pair of eyes I will ever want to see during my life. "Life is too short." I quietly mumbled to myself. "Let's elope. Now."

"Ok, sweetheart. Anything for you." His smile melted my heart. That was the end and the beginning.


End file.
